bryndel: (beware of skwerl)
First week and already some days I'm having trouble dragging myself out of bed. Sad, ne? That's part of the fun of depression I guess. Compound that with the fact that my two more difficult science classes are not just difficult, but also possibly ones I should have delayed until *after* I retook Organic Chem (UGH) and started Biochem... yeah. >.<;; Not really looking forward to this semester--and then on top of that I have part-time work. Admittedly, getting a little bit of steady income is good, and also, it's actually very lazy, easy work which is flexible with my school schedule-- but yargh, it's not like something I can sleep through and that makes Tuesdays in particular REALLY long days, involving work in the morning and then my pathophysiology class until 8:30 or so at night. Gah. @.@ I was literally falling asleep in it this week... gotta figure out some sort of caffeine or *something* for next week. Something that won't
On the other hand, tonight's lecture was much better than Tuesday's--we're doing review stuff, theoretically, but zomg the first day of patho did NOT feel like review. And then on top of that, my Microbiology teacher hands us a review sheet for o-chem stuff and more ("here, label these molecules according to structural group!") and AAAAAGGGHH do not want. And this isn't even going into the ungodly reams of paper these classes are asking me to print out on top of the usual horribly expensive books--and my printer isn't hooked up and working atm, and dad's printer is so skwerled up atm that I cannot trust it to print anything readable. I predict much tearing out of hair very soon, what with one thing and another.

On the other hand, it appears I got A's in both my summer classes, which is surprising but good. Now I just need to get my schedule under control and figure out some way to find the time and energy to start volunteering again, along with the internet reliability to keep up with my posts for my RPG sites. Posted a couple of things today and about to do another, though, yayz. Honestly, scheming about RP and writing stuff was the only thing that got me out of bed this morning, er, afternoon... I really need to find some way to keep doing it regularly despite (or even because of) all the craziness of RL around me.

Thank the powers that be for my Ellenkitty as well, who is mewing cutely and doing her maximal-in-the-wayness flop as she curls up on my chest as I write this. ; 0-P She and my little ratlings are doing well, at least. I'm still really missing my old dog, though, in particular, and pining for a new one. I miss all my old pets far too much still. My birthday this year sucked, meh--I didn't give my parents the birthday list they requested because, well, honestly, the two things I REALLY wanted I knew I was not going to get: a new dog and to get the hell out of this place and move into a space of my own.
I'm trying to change my perspective and look at it with a view of, well, I probably won't be here for my NEXT birthday, so that means less than a year to go, but... I still have trouble seeing the light at the end of the tunnel a lot of the time, to be honest.

Blergh.

Aug. 1st, 2010 08:43 pm
bryndel: (Default)
So yeah... out of the middle of nowhere yesterday, pretty much, I got a headache that then got much much worse as the night progressed and then ended up having to run to the bathroom (on my still slightly-sore sprained ankle) and barf my guts out.
So I be sick. And I dun feel like writing my big doggy update here, still, heh. ...But I sure as heck also don't feel like going and getting my homework done, lulz. Even though finals week is coming up and I need to get stuffs done for it sooner rather than later. I'm hoping I'm not stressing myself into sickness but... I dunno, after some of the really awful days I had just prior to rejoining WWS, it seems horribly likely. (Though in that case you'd think the sickness would come along when the stress and freak-out-ness were worst, wouldn't you?) I hate my health...I wish it would just shut up and behave already, heh, and then I could shut up about it too and get on with my life. YEARS of wanting it to just go back to normal, now, although there are times I think on other people who do not have that hope of being back to normal healthiness, ever, and ought to count myself lucky. (Hard to remember that in the middle of some of this stuff, though.)

I'm just deathly sick of the school thing, most of the time. ...And I won't be getting that much of a break before my fall classes, and I still need to go through the catalog again with fresh eyes and drop the classes my parents have decided to bitch about and maybe find something else to replace them. Or maybe not, I don't know; it all just feels like so much more wasted effort than it used to. Ugh. And this fall my boyfriend is also starting classes, which is good but a more selfish me is already thinking that's going to mean less time with him, especially since he's also working part-time... yeah. : 0-/ he's part of what keeps me sane, though. (Or close enough to sane, lol.) It's a good thing I've rejoined WWS, I'm thinking, even if I'm worried about fitting in RP when fall classes start coming up. It's a motivating, saneifying thing as well, though (ironically : 0-P ). Even thinking I wantneed to bring Bryndel back soon maybe, heh, but I'm going to hold off on that for a little while until I can be more sure of having the time AND after I figure out some IC things for her and...stuff. 3: 0-P

Viceroy is going to be fun to play, I think, meantime. Even if his threads aren't moving quite fast enough for my tastes already. X 0-) Trying not to make/join too many more, though, because I'm trying to be certain not to overload and I do, after all, need to be doing schoolstuff, too, not just posting. <.<;; But yes. Having fun dreaming up stuff for him. And hoping he'll generate a bit of drama in his time, too, lol, which hopefully will be fun to write as well as to read. But we'll see; I'm letting him unfold more naturally, as much as I can. But I also has plans. 3: 0-) Even if they are still tentative and unformed as of yet.

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bryndel

March 2011

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